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The game: How to get know them

Let’s be honest, sometimes the hardest part about dating is telling a person, “hey, I like you.” But, be encouraged, because this is also what makes courtship so exhilarating. So students, before you psych yourself out, just remember that the person meant for you will see you for who you are.

How to break the ice

How do I break the ice?

• Compliments are something everyone accepts. Go ahead and tell that person how trendy their jacket looks on them. Besides being flattering, a nice gesture can really brighten someone’s day when they might have been feeling down.

• Ask him or her to play a fun game. Playing games, whether it be dealing a hand of spades or a thumb wrestling challenge, are engaging ways to break the ice; especially if the person is learning a game they aren’t familiar with.

• Shock value is what advertisers use to keep eyes glued to T.V. screens. It can also grab a potential date’s attention as well. So if you’re comfortable with it, try singing and dancing for that person who’s caught your eye. While extroverts are better at this than other personality types, we all have the capacity to step outside of our shell.

Okay, so you might be saying, “That’s nice, but I’ve been around my special someone for a while and want to know whether or not to get serious?”

Dating “experts” can go on all day about what to do next, but it all boils down to one point: Make sure you’re meeting them, and not their representative.

Chris Rock in romantic-comedy I think I love my wife

Comedian Chris Rock pointed out in his series “Bigger and Blacker,” that we as people tend to put on a “front” when initially meeting someone we like. I believe showing your best qualities is natural, but it is still necessary to be yourself and keep it real. Some individuals suppress, or even lie, about who they are to win over others. This is not cool, and it taints the dating-scene of its integrity as a whole.

The no-brainers of knowing if he or she is the one

Time
Last week, I spoke to my friend, Minister Kenan Gabriel about courtship. The 2005 Kent State graduate, who is now married said that a lot of the whole mystery in courting is time.

“Usually most people don’t take the time to find out the real deal,” says Kenan. “When my wife and I were dating, we asked each other those important questions to find out if we were compatible.”

Virtual presence
Once given the nickname “Facebook stalking,” checking out a stranger’s profile on social networking sites is an acceptable practice among employers. So, I don’t see why it can’t be acceptable to do so with a potential love interest. College students should use the internet as leverage during their pursuit of friendships and relationships.

Most importantly, remember that God knows all things. Please, don’t neglect to pray that He reveals the truth to you during your season of courtship.

Feel free to add to this discussion, any thoughts, comments or experiences you have when it comes to getting to know your partner.

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2 comments on “The game: How to get know them

  1. Ice-breaking is really a difficult thing. We need politeness, kindness, and professionalism. But to maintain a long-term relationship is even more difficult and important for us PR people.

  2. I enjoyed reading your blog posts- and think it is refreshing to hear from a college student who has a love for the Lord; it is not so common on a liberal college campus. I agree with most everything in your posts but feel that maybe not every college student can relate to the topic of courtship and most probably don’t even know what true courtship even is in today’s world. I agree it is difficult to try and find someone in such a big campus who shares your similar interests and views unless you join a group or club. The pointers you gave to break the ice by using compliments and playing fun games I think are good and can be useful- however I think that maybe viewing courtship as a “game” or even trying to meet someone as a “game” is wrong. I know a lot of guys think that in order to win a girl you have to play the game and you don’t win anything if you don’t play, but to the contrary I think courtship and dating should be viewed as an opportunity. An opportunity to meet someone new without any future expectations. If you’re too busy worrying about what will happen next, you could miss out on the opportunity to meet a new friend.
    Overall, I like your blog a lot but think you should emphasize the importance of having a God-centered relationship rather than a focus on each other. If both have a focus on God, the rest will come- whether that means a long term relationship or a fellowship.
    I agree, praying for truth during courtship is key.

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